There's so much I could say about tonight, but I can't. Work confidentiality and all that, don't want to get Dooced!
Also, Blogger wasn't working when I logged on, so most of the drunkeness which would normally be here, is actually here on t the messageboard. Hee hee.
Collapsed on the sofa feeling guilty. Spent today watching Pete run the London Marathon, which he did spectacularly well, despite the rain. Apart from now I'm really tired, which is rubbish, because all we did was wander round London a bit, he ran 26 and a bit miles, so I have no justification for being cream crackered!
Anyway, I've had a lovely weekend hanging out with the boys (mainly, joined by Tania and Helen and Pete's family for some welcome female company). Thank you boys. I'm enjoying a rest from the testosterone now though!
So, on to facing the week ahead... having just bought an EXTREMELY expensive dress for a black tie dinner tomorrow, I'm hoping that that will make me feel good for the start of a week about which I am feeling very apprehensive for all sorts of different (and kind of complicated) reasons.
Still, I have a wedding to look forward to, in Aberdeen, on Saturday. It's going to be great, a gang of my old Uni housemates back together again. So very much looking forward to that. Just got to get through the week first...!
(PS photos from Vegas still being prepared and exchanged between us girlies... more soon)
Well, it's Wednesday. I'm back. I have a touch of jetlag, a large dose of the post holiday blues, and the very slightest hint of a tan.
I was due to report back two decisions and some photos. To take the easiest first - there are photos, lots of them, but it's going to take some time to sort them out. Also, Na, Helen and I will be compiling all our photos in to one set for here. So, they'll be there in a few days. There are a couple at the bottom of this post to whet your appetite though...
As to the decisions: Na, Helen and the cocktails were helpful. I've decided that on the professional one, my philosophy is 'you've got to be in it to win it', so I'm going to chuck in an application and see what happens. That might be slightly easier said than done given the deadline is the 30th April, but we'll see. A concentrated effort at the weekend and some point next week should do it.
On the personal one, well, that's perhaps not so straightforward, but the philosophy is probably the same. One of the (many) films I watched on the plane(s) had a great line in it: "Who cares if you get in a mess in your life. At least you know you're living it then."
The photos:
So. Work is slightly better, if only because it's the end of term, and of course because Vegas is 35 hours or something away. Thank God. I can't wait. It really has been a hell of a couple of months, and I'm very much in need of a rest, mainly from work, but generally too. And Vegas seems to offer the best solution - pool and spa time by day, and then food, drink and partying by night. Wicked.
I'm also planning to give myself some 'clear thinking' time... time away from work, people, all sorts of other things. I need to make two decisions. The first is related to work, it's a professional decision about whether to continue pursuing something I've been trying for for a long time, or whether to give it up and stick with what I'm doing now, and am apparently good at. A difficult choice, and a major decision to take. It will affect the rest of my career for the rest of my life. I've always been career motivated and ambitious, so it's a major life decision, it's not just about 'work'.
The second is related to me, it's a personal decision about whether to take the plunge and attempt to resolve something which has been bugging me for a long time. It might have a major effect on me, but if it all goes wrong, I'd hope that it would be solvable and I could move on just fine.
Hmph. I think that all of this is going to be very much aided by a number of tasty (but probably expensive) cocktails and a bit of girly bonding time.
Photos will no doubt result from the trip too, there's not been any for a while. Not sure why that is.
So, check back here next Wednesday for (a) two decisions and (b) photos
I've had an utterly horrible few days at work, but things are improving. I can honestly say that I was more angry (that deep down, burning incessant but somehow calm anger) than I have ever been on Monday. I had to isolate myself and not talk to anyone for a good few hours, and then my poor Mum took the brunt of it (thanks Mum ;-) and thanks also to those who took my MSN ranting!). I've calmed down now, and all is well, but I won't forget how I was made to feel. All becuase of one man... I can only go so far in describing things on here, but some of you know what I mean and the situation to which I am referring (and those who don't can be explained too off line).
But, the bottom line is that I'm bigger and stronger than that. He'll fall on his sword eventually! I honestly believe that such experiences can only make you stronger. My boss said to me on Tuesday that she couldn't understand how I'd survived without losing my temper. And I'm not sure that I can either. But then there have been a few situations in my recent-ish past where I've felt like that. I'm not sure how it's ok, but it is. I've made it. I'm a strong and resilient person. I'm willing to learn from my mistakes and reflect on the situations in which I have become involved and then move on.
Steve's blog struck a chord with me today - his title is "Somedays I love being me". And, well, I'm going to steal that philosophy. Somedays I love being me. When I was standing on the balcony about ten minutes ago, drinking a(n unnecessary extra) glass of wine, looking at the stars, and absorbing the natural calm of the river, I thought, yeah, I love being me. And not only that, I'm proud of me.
It's not often that I'm proud of me. I'm a self critical kind of person (although I'm aware I might not always come across like that) but just sometimes I give myself reason to be proud. And I think I have this week. And I'm going to carry that with me. It makes me stronger.
I've been sitting here gazing at the screen for some time now. An awful lot has happened since I last blogged, some good, some bad, some indifferent. And I just can't work out a way to get it all onto paper (well, keyboard) and make sense of it all. So I'm not going to.
Suffice to say that I've had a great weekend doing normal things with normal people... well pehaps not so normal on balance, but I love them all the same! Thanks for entertaining me guys and girls xxx
