Getting stronger

I've had an utterly horrible few days at work, but things are improving. I can honestly say that I was more angry (that deep down, burning incessant but somehow calm anger) than I have ever been on Monday. I had to isolate myself and not talk to anyone for a good few hours, and then my poor Mum took the brunt of it (thanks Mum ;-) and thanks also to those who took my MSN ranting!). I've calmed down now, and all is well, but I won't forget how I was made to feel. All becuase of one man... I can only go so far in describing things on here, but some of you know what I mean and the situation to which I am referring (and those who don't can be explained too off line).

But, the bottom line is that I'm bigger and stronger than that. He'll fall on his sword eventually! I honestly believe that such experiences can only make you stronger. My boss said to me on Tuesday that she couldn't understand how I'd survived without losing my temper. And I'm not sure that I can either. But then there have been a few situations in my recent-ish past where I've felt like that. I'm not sure how it's ok, but it is. I've made it. I'm a strong and resilient person. I'm willing to learn from my mistakes and reflect on the situations in which I have become involved and then move on.

Steve's blog struck a chord with me today - his title is "Somedays I love being me". And, well, I'm going to steal that philosophy. Somedays I love being me. When I was standing on the balcony about ten minutes ago, drinking a(n unnecessary extra) glass of wine, looking at the stars, and absorbing the natural calm of the river, I thought, yeah, I love being me. And not only that, I'm proud of me.

It's not often that I'm proud of me. I'm a self critical kind of person (although I'm aware I might not always come across like that) but just sometimes I give myself reason to be proud. And I think I have this week. And I'm going to carry that with me. It makes me stronger.