Moments

I've been thinking today about the nature of 'moments' of memory. I think what I mean is best described as those snippets of memory which suddenly come back to you when you're in the middle of something, and they have a persuasive effect of distracting you. They happen to me in meetings, when I'm reading, and of course most often at random (and usually inconvenient) times when I'm supposed to be concentrating at work.

They come in different forms. Sometimes they make me chuckle as I remember a comedy moment (the foam ceiling springs to mind here), or they are touching. Perhaps the most distracting ones are the ones which are fixating. They are often recalling the briefest of moments - possibly the moments which I wanted to last longer, or I think I could have handled differently... or I wonder 'what would have happened next if...?'. Those times where there is perhaps just a millisecond of something, and it leaves you wondering what it means.

No point wondering 'what if' though eh. Sometimes I have to remind myself that there will be a lot more 'moments' to be created and then recalled, and they all add to the catalogue. Of course there are some which would be best forgotten, either because they are cringeworthy, embarrassing, or just really don't deserve to be recalled. And of course, these are the ones which come back to haunt me at the most inappropriate times... but I can usually block them out. It's the 'brief moment' ones which stay around... sometimes the tiniest snippets of recollection play on my mind the most. I find myself rehearsing them over and over.

Sometimes I wish I had a thought stick or a dream collector which works on day time thoughts (I'm thinking BFG by Roald Dahl here). I could just get rid of them... or find somewhere to store them until I want to reflect - or until things have changed so much that they paint a different part of the story.

Anyhow, on that note, I'm in five-hours-sleep-a-night-mode at the moment, so tis time for bed. I am trying to make the most of the few hours, and reading for a bit before I go to bed to calm my mind for some serious sleeping. Driving to work does make things much better though - and the sense of victory I feel when arriving at work at 6.59 and therefore avoiding the congestion charge is disproportionately good.

There should be pictures of the car, but as it rained for most of the weekend, there aren't any. In fact, there's been an absence of pictures of late. Must rectify that in Scotland this week - although I fear the quality won't be that high!